


our hearts was singing (it felt like christmas time)

by ericdire (aarobron)



Category: Men's Football RPF
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Ex wives, First Kiss, james milner is v annoying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28011570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aarobron/pseuds/ericdire
Summary: "I've done it," James says, sounding incredibly proud of himself. Jordan thinks it's a bit conceited. "I've sorted you out – you don't have to spend Christmas alone anymore."“Milly, Iwantedto––” He starts, but James cuts him off."I don't care what you want," he says dismissively. Jordan thinks that's a little bit rude, but he scowls instead and crosses his arms over his chest.
Relationships: Virgil van Dijk/Jordan Henderson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	our hearts was singing (it felt like christmas time)

**Author's Note:**

> hello! the first, but hopefully not the last, of this year's christmas fics.
> 
> enjoy xxx

“I know you lied to me,” James says sharply. His face looks kind, though. Jordan knows exactly what he’s about to say, and his cheeks heat up. “Your sister texted me asking if she should drop your presents off at mine. You told me you were spending Christmas with Jody.”

“Yeah, well,” Jordan says, shrugging slightly. He turns his face away so James can’t see the embarrassment. “She’s spending Christmas with the in-laws.”

“What about your mum? Your dad?” James asks, sounding like he’s full of pity. That’s exactly why Jordan didn’t want to tell him that he’d be spending Christmas alone – he’s not thrilled at the idea, but he’s done worse things. Like that time his childhood best friend dared him to wear a Newcastle shirt for the day. “You know you’d be more than welcome at ours, but we’re going to Amy’s parents’ house and ––”

“I know, okay?” Jordan says firmly, cutting James’s rambling off. He’s sick of hearing about Christmas day already, and it’s only the fourth. “I know that you are taking the kids to Amy’s parents’ house and I know that they don’t have room for anyone else and honestly, James, I appreciate the hypothetical offer but I probably wouldn’t want to spend Christmas with people I don’t know anyway. They probably wouldn’t want to spend it with me either. It’s _fine_.”

“What about Bec? Are you sure she won’t let you tag along?” James asks. He sounds deflated, and Jordan rolls his eyes internally. He’s the one that’s going to be alone – James doesn’t get to be depressed for him.

“Her parents hate my guts, James,” Jordan says. “Her dad would probably kill me on sight. It doesn’t matter that Bec and I are still friends and, you know, I gave them their grandchildren. He hates me. So does her mum. It’s not worth the hassle, so can you just drop it please?”

“Fine,” James says. He’s sulking about it. Great. “If you insist.”

“I do. So shut up,” Jordan says, and prays that that’s the end of it.

.

He does all his Christmas shopping dutifully. Spoils the kids to high heaven (Bec pops round and raises her eyebrows at the pile of presents in the spare room, and tells him it’s too much) and sends his mum and her partner on an all-inclusive holiday somewhere exotic. He writes Jody a check for her upcoming wedding – that he will also be attending alone – and gets his Dad a new car.

It’s different, spending Christmas alone. He feels this –– desperate need to impress everyone with his gifts, even knowing he’s not going to be able to see their faces on Christmas morning. He feels like he needs to prove he still exists.

And it’s his first Christmas not with the kids. He misses them so much that it hurts, and the prospect of not seeing them on their favourite day of the year… Well.

If he can’t spend it with them, he doesn’t want to spend it with anyone at all.

He’s fine with that. He really is.

.

"I've done it," James says, sounding incredibly proud of himself. Jordan thinks it's a bit conceited. "I've sorted you out – you don't have to spend Christmas alone anymore."

“Milly, I _wanted_ to––” He starts, but James cuts him off.

"I don't care what you want," he says dismissively. Jordan thinks that's a little bit rude, but he scowls instead and crosses his arms over his chest. "Virgil said he'd be happy to spend Christmas with you."

Ah. That explains why Virgil is hovering with a hopeful little look on his face nearby.

"James, it's _Christmas eve_ ," Jordan hisses, rubbing a hand over his face. He spares an apologetic look to Virgil and then turns back to his best friend. "You can't force Virgil to change his plans just for me. That's not fair."

“Oh, that’s the best part ––” James says, grinning wildly, “–– he’s spending tomorrow alone too! So he doesn’t have to change anything, does he? He doesn’t have to tell anyone to set an extra place or nip to Tesco’s and buy an extra plate and knife and fork, because he’s going to be by himself as well. Or – not anymore, because you’re going to be with him.”

Jordan deflates. He can’t really argue with it.

“You’re okay with it?” He asks, directing his question to Virgil. Virgil stops pretending that he wasn’t listening and takes a step closer.

“I’m more than okay with it, Jord,” Virgil says softly. He looks very hopeful – how could Jordan say no to those big, sad eyes? “I never wanted to spend Christmas by myself. And I don’t want you to, either.”

“...Okay,” Jordan says, after a short pause. Virgil’s face lights up and he smiles, and Jordan’s chest squeezes tight. He’s not quite sure what it is. “Do you fancy a coffee? We can plan tomorrow.”

“That sounds perfect,” Virgil breathes, smile stretching into a wide, beaming grin. James takes a step back and winks, like his job here is done.

Jordan can’t bring himself to be mad about it.

.

The thing is, he’s kind of had a crush on Virgil since he first laid eyes on him.

He doesn’t want to say it’s the reason his marriage ended but it sort of is, because meeting Virgil – and subsequently daydreaming about holding his hand and then blushing like a twelve-year-old school girl – is what made him realise, at the grand old age of twenty-fucking-nine, that he is gay.

Yes. Twenty nine.

He’s not really proud of how long it took him ( _and_ the amount of poor, unfortunate souls that got sucked into his life – like his wife), but he _is_ proud of who he is. He’s proud of Bec, too, because he was terrified of telling her but she took it like a champ. She held his hand and stroked his hair while he cried, and then she kissed his temple and told him that they were still best friends and nothing was going to change that.

So, really, in the grand scheme of things, Virgil is a tiny drop in the ocean of his overdue sexual awakening, but he’s still _part_ of it. Jordan can’t deny that he’s a part of it, and he can’t forget it either – unfortunately. 

He’s somewhere between excited and trepidatious about spending the day with Virgil, because it’s not just _any_ day. It’s Christmas, the time of year that you're supposed to spend with loved ones, people you care about, people you ––

Well. 

Jordan’s just not quite sure where he falls into that for Virgil.

And he’s not quite sure where Virgil falls into that for _him_.

.

The doorbell ringing throughout the house sends an icy cold feeling through his spine.

He knows it’s only Virgil but he’s still nervous as fuck. They’re friends – close friends, even, yes, but spending Christmas day with someone is a little bit different to just seeing them in training and having lunch together. 

And spending Christmas day with someone when you kind of maybe think you’re in love with them…

Well. 

There’s a reason Jordan is nervous. That’s all he’s saying. 

Still, he takes a deep breath and smooths his shirt down. He might have gone a little bit overboard with his clothes, dressing like he’s on a first date, but… It kind of feels like one, so it doesn’t matter.

He opens the door to Virgil’s beaming face. 

“Merry Christmas,” he says, pressing a kiss to Jordan’s cheek. He goes red from the chest up just from that one little action, and steps aside to let Virgil in. 

“Merry Christmas, V,” Jordan says, dragging his gaze up and down the length of Virgil’s body. “I see you’re dressed for the occasion.”

“Well, what’s the point in Christmas if not for the Christmas jumpers?” Virgil asks, beaming wide. Jordan shuts the front door so the whole street doesn't have to see them flirting. “And my hat matches – see?”

He points to the red knitted hat that’s shoved on his head, curls peeking out the bottom. Jordan can’t resist reaching up and touching the hem of it. Virgil’s smile dims into something shy and bashful.

“It suits you,” Jordan says honestly. At this point, he can’t control what’s coming out of his mouth. It’s kind of terrifying. “You look cute.”

Virgil’s cheeks go a rosy shade of red, and Jordan turns away in embarrassment.

This is going to be a long day.

.

Jordan expects dinner to be weird – awkward, even. Just the gravity of the whole situation, the fact they’re finally sitting down just the two of them after months of flirting, should make it awkward. There should be long pauses and heavy glances and questions that you don’t know how to answer, but Virgil doesn’t see it that way. He’s just the same as he always is, and it puts Jordan’s heart at ease.

They watch a film after dinner, sitting on opposite ends of the couch but sharing a blanket. Elf – the girls’ favourite. The more he realises they’re not here to giggle and gasp and make comments, the more down he’s feeling. He shifts closer to Virgil and glances up at him.

“Do you miss them?” Jordan asks, but quietly, like he’s not sure if he’s allowed. “Do you miss your daughters?”

“Every day,” Virgil answers honestly. He doesn’t take his eyes off the TV.

“How come they’re not here?” Jordan asks. It feels like he’s stepping into dangerous territory, but he’s only doing it because he can relate. “You and Rike are on good terms, right?”

“Yeah,” Virgil says without missing a beat. “But she doesn’t want to be around me. She won’t say it –– what she did say was that she doesn’t see the point in living in England anymore. So she’s gone back to the Netherlands with the girls.”

“The point is that you get to see them,” Jordan whispers.

Virgil smiles tightly, and looks away. “I know,” he says, and that’s the end of the conversation.

Jordan drops his head and tries to put it out of his mind. He focuses on the film, although it’s going in one ear and out the other. Shifts uncomfortably, because he can’t seem to get into a position he likes.

Eventually, he realises that he’s pressed up against Virgil’s side, head pillowed on his bicep and hand snaked around his arm. It’s comfy and Virgil doesn’t seem to mind, so. 

He stays where he is.

Actually, scrap that –– Virgil lifts his arm to wrap it around Jordan’s shoulders and pulls him closer. His head falls onto his chest instead, and he closes his eyes. Virgil is warm, and he smells nice. His hand sits on Virgil’s stomach, radiating warmth even through his jumper.

There’s nowhere else he’d rather be. He’s _happy_.

He swallows, finally opening his eyes and looking up at Virgil. Virgil doesn’t look back, but there’s a tiny little smile curved into his face like he knows what’s going on. Jordan wants to kiss it away, so he does.

He places one hand on Virgil’s cheek and closes the gap, drinking in the way the younger man sighs happily. It’s a sweet kiss, slow and deep. Virgil’s arm tightens around his shoulders for a second, and then it’s done. He pulls back and settles back down, happy, tucked against Virgil’s side. 

Neither of them say anything because there’s nothing that needs to be said.

The kiss said it all.

.

Jordan drags Virgil into the kitchen under the pretence of doing the dishes, but pushes him back against the counter and kisses him instead. 

He likes kissing Virgil. His hands are warm and big and he knows what he’s doing, and he’s apparently not afraid to shove Jordan about a bit – which is probably the hottest thing he’s ever encountered. He likes that Virgil’s grip is rough, his hands heavy. He likes it when Virgil groans into his mouth and presses his hips against Jordan’s.

They kiss for what feels like ages. It could be forever and Jordan wouldn’t know – he certainly wouldn’t mind. Being with Virgil is like having a secret, one that nobody else knows. He intends to keep it that way.

The sound of the door opening makes Jordan spring away from Virgil, looking around. He can hear his own heart pounding in his ears, but it eases when he sees Alba and Elexa run in, throwing their arms around his legs. Bec follows, a sheepish smile on her face.

“Sorry,” she says, but she doesn’t seem that sorry at all. “Didn’t know you had company. Couldn’t stand the thought of your miserable face on your own all day so we thought we should pop round – and the girls wouldn’t shut up about their presents.”

“It’s okay,” Jordan says, ignoring the way she’s wiggling her eyebrows at him. “Nice to see you.”

“Er,” Virgil says with uncertainty, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Why don’t I get the kids some chocolates off the tree? Give you time to talk or –– whatever.”

“Thanks, V,” Jordan says kindly, squeezing his wrist. He can’t wipe the smile off his face as he watches Virgil take Myles out of Bec’s arms and tap his nose gently. The girls follow, fascinated (both by Virgil and the thought of chocolate), leaving Jordan and Bec alone.

“Interrupting something, was I?” Bec asks, raising her eyebrows. He can tell that she’s trying not to smile but he feels guilty. He shouldn’t have been rubbing it in her face. “It’s okay, you know. I think I’ve always known you were going to end up with him. And, well –– I don’t blame you, to be honest, _look_ at him.”

Jordan looks, and the sight of Virgil bouncing Myles on his knee takes his breath away.

“You knew?” He asks, instead of letting the thought of Virgil with kids fester.

“The first time you met him you came home and talked about him for six hours, Jordan,” Bec says, rolling her eyes. “So yes, I knew. You’re obsessed with him.”

“Am not obsessed,” he mutters, crossing his arms over his chest, but one look at Virgil patiently listening to Alba and Elexa tell him about all their Christmas presents really proves otherwise. “Fine. I just – don’t want to make you feel bad.”

“I don’t feel bad,” Bec says smugly. “You’re not the only one with options, you know.”

Jordan gives her the side eye, but decides to back down. 

“We’ll talk about this when it’s not Christmas,” he says. Bec just smirks.

They lapse into a comfortable silence. Jordan’s always loved that about Bec – he doesn’t need to be anyone else around her. He’s just _him_ , unashamedly. That’s kind of how he feels around Virgil, too.

“I am really, really happy for you, you know,” Bec says, breaking the silence. She wraps her hands around his bicep and rests her head on his shoulder, both of them watching Virgil and the kids. “If you’re really serious about this, if you think he’s it for you, then I’m glad you’ve found him. I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy. You know that.”

“Yeah,” Jordan breathes wetly, wiping his eyes. Virgil lifts his head and catches his gaze, smiling hesitantly at him. When Jordan beams back, he grins, eyes sparkling. “I know.”

.

“Come on then, you horrible lot,” Bec says, gathering the girls in front of her. Virgil clips Myles into his carseat and Jordan watches, spellbound by the smile on his little boy’s face when he looks at Virgil. A (huge) part of him is thinking that this is actually going to work. “Let’s leave Daddy to it.”

“Are we still seeing you tomorrow?” Elexa asks, tugging at his joggers. Her eyes are wide as she looks at him.

“Of course, baby,” he says, smoothing a hand over her hair. “You’re coming round for dinner, aren’t you? I’m sure Father Christmas will bring some more presents round for you to open as well.”

“Is Virg going to be here too?” She asks. She’s so innocent – she has no idea how much of a loaded question that is. Jordan looks at him, waiting for an answer.

“Um,” Virgil says, a little bit dumbstruck. He looks at Jordan helplessly, and then at Bec’s beaming face. “If you want me to be here, yeah.” 

“Yay!” Elexa says, throwing her arms around Virgil’s legs in a hug. “See you tomorrow, Virg. Bye, daddy.”

He kisses them goodbye and gives Bec a tight hug, standing back to let her curl her arms around Virgil. The younger man clearly isn’t expecting it, eyes wide in disbelief, but he hugs back anyway, gaze flitting over to Jordan.

“Look after him – make him happy,” Bec says, low and right in Virgil’s ear. Jordan rolls his eyes and pulls her away.

It’s so quiet when they leave. Weirdly quiet, to be honest, because Virgil seems like he’s just been ambushed, and Jordan grimaces.

“Sorry,” he says, shaking his head. “I didn’t know they were coming. I know it must have been a lot, meeting them.”

“No,” Virgil says quickly – completely and entirely honest. “No, it was nice to see them. Your children are beautiful. Bec is nice. Do you think she hates me?”

“What?” Jordan asks, frowning. “No, of course she doesn’t. She loves you. She loves you because I l–– because you make me happy. You’re great with the kids and you gave her fifteen minutes peace from talking about the latest LOL Dolls, so I think she might like you more than she likes me right now. You’ve got nothing to worry about, V.”

“Okay,” Virgil says, but he still sounds uncertain.

Jordan decides that it’s now or never.

“Stay tonight?” He asks, shifting his weight from foot to foot nervously. “I mean, you’re coming round for dinner tomorrow anyway. You should stay tonight, to make things easier.”

“I don’t have any clothes,” Virgil whispers, swallowing. Jordan watches his Adam’s apple bob.

“You can borrow some of mine,” Jordan counters. “The kids won’t notice if you’re wearing my clothes – I love them and everything, but they’re not exactly perceptive.”

“Your ex wife will notice,” Virgil says.

Ah. So there it is.

“Virgil, I promise you that she doesn’t care,” Jordan says, taking his hand. “I know that things didn’t go so well for you and Rike, but Bec – when I came out to her, she promised that she’d always be my best friend, and she’s kept that promise ever since. That means she’s happy for me when I move on and fall for someone else, and, well –– that someone is you.”

Virgil doesn’t say anything, but he uses his free hand to wipe his cheeks roughly.

“Please stay,” Jordan whispers. He reaches up and cups Virgil’s cheek, pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth. When he pulls away, Virgil breathes out shakily. “It’s Christmas and I finally have you and now I don’t want you to go. So stay. Stay with me.”

“Okay,” Virgil says, blinking heavily. He smiles, just slightly, when Jordan’s mouth curves up into a grin. “Okay, I’ll stay.”

“Merry Christmas, V,” Jordan whispers. He glances up at the mistletoe hanging above them, and kisses Virgil again.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @ [georginiwijnaldum](https://georginiwijnaldum.tumblr.com/) xo


End file.
